I Can't Be This Protagonist

Yan Shuang is an old veteran of the Transmigration Bureau. Once he finishes one last book, he’ll be able to make a lump-sum withdrawal of the pension he’s accumulated across various books and live a happily retired life.There’s good news once he enters the book — He’s the protagonist.Bad news? — He’s the protagonist of an angsty, dog blood novel.Before him lay five highly toxic relationship plotlines with the same shou but different gongs.Scum Gong 1: Master-servant contract with physical and mental abuse aplentyScum Gong 2: Carving out one of your kidneys for the white moonlightScum Gong 3: Brainwashing/reconditioning shame playScum Gong 4: You’re nice but unfortunately not clean enoughScum Gong 5: Save him and I can marry youYan Shuang: He’s eager to retire already, hurry up ba